Pregnancy is often painted as a glowing, beautiful season, and it can be. But for many Black women, it is also a season shadowed by silence. She may not tell you she is scared. She may not admit she feels unseen, overwhelmed, or utterly alone in a body that is rapidly changing. She has been taught to be strong. She has been told she can handle it. And so she does quietly, at a cost.
But here is what you need to know: her silence is not peace. It is endurance. And you have the power to change that.
The Deep Question: Why Does Your Presence Matter More Than You Think?
Here is the question partners rarely ask but urgently need to: Does my involvement actually affect her health or just her mood?
The answer is both and the stakes are higher than most people realise.
Black women in the United States face a maternal mortality rate of 44.8 deaths per 100,000 live births more than three times the rate of white women (14.2).[¹] This figure comes directly from the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) 2024 report, the most recent official U.S. data available.
Research also shows that nearly 60% of Black mothers receive no treatment or support for prenatal and postpartum emotional complications, often due to stigma, lack of culturally appropriate care, and crucially feeling they must carry the weight alone.[²][³] The pressure of the “strong Black woman” narrative actively discourages Black women from admitting they are struggling, even when they are deeply at risk.[⁴]
Studies on pregnant Black women confirm that partner support directly influences pregnancy outcomes. A peer-reviewed study published in PMC specifically examining Black women found that higher family and partner involvement was associated with significantly lower depressive symptoms, lower perceived stress, and lower anxiety during pregnancy.[⁵] A separate PubMed study confirmed that women who perceived stronger support from their partners during pregnancy had lower emotional distress postpartum and their infants showed fewer signs of distress as well.[⁶] Conversely, research on African American women’s pregnancy experiences has found that isolation, fractured relationships, and feeling unsupported were among the most consistently reported sources of stress not just emotionally, but linked to poor physical birth outcomes.[⁷]
She may not say “I need you at that appointment.” But when you show up, you become her advocate in a system that has historically dismissed her pain. She may not say “I am not okay.” But research tells us that Black women are significantly less likely to report emotional distress during pregnancy, even when deeply struggling not because they feel less, but because stigma, the “strong Black woman” construct, and fear of being judged suppress disclosure.[⁸]
At Mylurah we’re building a digital platform that centers Black women’s reproductive journeys, including culturally sensitive support for Period, Pregnancy and Postpartum. Because representation in care isn’t optional, it’s essential.
What she needs from you is not perfection. It is presence.
Specifically:
Educate yourself. Learn about preeclampsia, anaemia, gestational diabetes conditions that disproportionately affect Black women. Know the warning signs so you can advocate when she cannot.[¹⁰]
Show up to prenatal appointments. Having a supportive partner present can help reinforce communication, advocacy, and emotional support during appointments. Research shows that having a trusted person present during maternity care is associated with a meaningful reduction in the odds of mistreatment.[⁹]
Take over without being asked. Cook. Clean. Handle the logistics. She should not have to manage a household while growing a life.
Hold space for her fear. She may be afraid of the healthcare system, of her body, of loss. Let her say it without fixing it.
At MyLurah community group , we believe no woman should navigate pregnancy feeling unseen or unsupported. Our platform creates space for culturally informed care, conversation, and community.
In All You Do
Your pregnant partner is extraordinary. She is also human and she needs you. Not as a bystander, but as a partner who understands that for Black women, pregnancy carries weight that goes beyond the physical.
The most powerful thing you can do is close the gap between what she needs and what she feels safe asking for. Notice her. Advocate for her. Show up even when, especially when, she says she is fine.
Because love, during pregnancy, is not just a feeling. For a Black woman, it can be lifesaving.
References
- Hoyert, D.L. – Maternal Mortality Rates in the United States, 2024 | NCHS Health E-Stats, No. 113. CDC / National Center for Health Statistics. March 2026. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/hestat113.htm
- National Partnership for Women & Families – The Maternal Mental Health Crisis Undermines Moms’ and Babies’ Health (May 2024) https://nationalpartnership.org/report/the-maternal-mental-health-crisis-undermines-moms-and-babies-health/
- Policy Center for Maternal Mental Health – Black Maternal Mental Health Issue Brief (October 2024) https://policycentermmh.org/black-maternal-mental-health-issue-brief/
- Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA) – Black Women, Birthing People, and Maternal Mental Health Fact Sheet https://www.mmhla.org/articles/black-women-birthing-people-mothers-and-maternal-mental-health-fact-sheet
- Price, M.M. et al. – Family Involvement in Pregnancy and Psychological Health among Pregnant Black Women | PMC / NCBI (2021) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7890047/
- Stapleton, L.R.T. et al. – Perceived Partner Support in Pregnancy Predicts Lower Maternal and Infant Distress | PMC / NCBI (2012) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3992993/
- Giurgescu, C. et al. – Stressors, Resources, and Stress Responses in Pregnant African American Women: A Mixed-Methods Pilot Study | PMC / NCBI (2014) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3901405/
- Black Women’s Health Imperative – Suffering in Silence: Mood Disorders in Black Pregnant and Postpartum Women (2017) https://bwhi.org/2017/11/17/suffering-in-silence/
- Bohren, M.A. et al. – The Mistreatment of Women During Maternity Care and Its Association with the Maternal Continuum of Care | PMC / NCBI https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10863180/
- CDC – HEAR HER: Urgent Maternal Warning Signs https://www.cdc.gov/hearher/maternal-warning-signs/index.html
