Walking into an antenatal appointment should feel like a step toward safety. For many For many Black women, repeated experiences of feeling dismissed or unheard can become painfully familiar. The data is clear, and the stories are countless. If you are a partner a husband, boyfriend, family member, or chosen support person understanding this reality is not optional. It is the foundation of true advocacy.
She Should Not Have to Fight Alone
Picture this. She has been feeling off for three days headaches that won’t quit, swelling in her feet that wasn’t there last week. She finally gets to her antenatal appointment, tries to explain it, and the doctor nods, types something, and moves on. Just like that. Concern unaddressed. Question unanswered. And she walks out wondering if she was overreacting.
She wasn’t.
This is not a rare story. Research published by the Morehouse School of Medicine confirms that medical staff routinely do not listen to Black women when they report symptoms, and frequently dismiss or downplay their concerns.[¹] A 2025 study in PubMed found that encounters with Black patients were notably shorter, with doctors asking fewer questions and using less inclusive language and crucially, the doctors themselves were not aware of the disparity.[²] For Black women, being overlooked in the antenatal room is not an exception. It is a pattern.
And too often, she is sitting in that room alone.
That is where you come in.
At Mylurah we’re building a digital platform that centers Black women’s reproductive journeys, including culturally sensitive support for Period, Pregnancy and Postpartum. Because representation in care isn’t optional, it’s essential.
So What Does It Actually Mean to Advocate?
Here is the real question partners need to sit with: What good am I in that room if I don’t know what to do?
Advocacy is not about being loud or confrontational. It is about being prepared, being present, and refusing to let her be overlooked.
Before the appointment, sit down together. Ask her what has been bothering her not just physically, but emotionally. Write it all down. Every symptom, every concern, every question. Because the moment she gets into that room and a doctor in a rush starts rattling off routine checks, it is easy to forget everything she meant to say. That list is her voice when the room feels intimidating. Henry Ford Health specifically recommends this approach and even suggests asking providers directly: “What are you doing to reduce poor outcomes for pregnant Black women?”[³]
Inside the appointment, pay attention. If a concern she raises gets a vague answer or gets skipped entirely, say something. Calmly. Directly. “She mentioned the headaches can we go back to that? What should we be watching for?” You are not causing trouble. You are doing your job. Research published in PLOS Global Public Health found that having a companion of choice during maternity care was associated with a 42% reduction in the odds of mistreatment your presence is not just emotional support, it is a clinical safeguard.[⁴]
After the appointment, debrief together. What was said? What wasn’t addressed? How did she feel walking out? Keep a note on your phone dates, what was discussed, what was dismissed. If something escalates later, that record matters more than you know.
And if something feels wrong if she says she is in pain, if her instincts are screaming do not wait for the next scheduled visit. Go back. Call. Push. The CDC’s Maternal Mortality data shows that Black women die from pregnancy-related complications at 3.5 times the rate of white women, and over 80% of those deaths are preventable.[⁵] Black women have died because the people around them waited to see if it would pass.
At MyLurah, we believe advocacy begins with information, community, and culturally sensitive support throughout pregnancy and postpartum.
You Are Not Just a Plus One
Too many partners show up to antenatal appointments and sit quietly in the corner, scrolling their phones. That cannot be you. Not for a Black woman navigating a system that has historically underserved her.
A 2023 CDC Vital Signs report found that 30% of Black mothers reported mistreatment during maternity care the highest of any racial group, and 40.1% reported discrimination during their pregnancy journey. [⁶] The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) notes that Black women are labelled “difficult” or “angry” when they speak up for themselves, which further discourages them from advocating in future visits.[⁷]
Your presence is powerful but only if you use it.
Awareness should never replace medical evaluation, but it can help families seek care sooner when something feels wrong. Know what postpartum hemorrhage looks like. The CDC’s HEAR HER campaign launched specifically because too many Black women’s urgent warnings were not taken seriously lists 15 urgent maternal warning signs every support person should know. [⁸] Black women are 60% more likely to develop preeclampsia than other groups and have twice the risk of postpartum hemorrhage. [⁹] Understand what is normal and what is not, not because you are trying to be a doctor, but because love, real love, prepares itself.
She is growing your child. The least you can do is show up informed, attentive, and ready to advocate for her.
References
- Morehouse School of Medicine – How Unconscious Bias in Health Care Puts Pregnant Black Women at Higher Risk (December 2023) https://www.msm.edu/RSSFeedArticles/2023/December/Unconscious_Bias_in_Healthcare.php
- Racial Disparities in Doctor-Patient Communication | PubMed (March 2025) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40072799/
- Henry Ford Health – Pregnancy Self-Advocacy Tips for Black Women (February 2024) https://www.henryford.com/blog/2024/02/pregnancy-self-advocacy-tips-for-black-women
- The Mistreatment of Women During Maternity Care and Its Association with the Maternal Continuum of Care | PMC https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10863180/
- CDC – Working Together to Reduce Black Maternal Mortality | CDC Women’s Health https://www.cdc.gov/womens-health/features/maternal-mortality.html
- CDC Vital Signs – Maternity Care Experiences, April 2023 | Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report (MMWR) https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/72/wr/mm7235e1.htm
- ACOG – What I’d Like Everyone to Know About Racism in Pregnancy Care https://www.acog.org/womens-health/experts-and-stories/the-latest/what-id-like-everyone-to-know-about-racism-in-pregnancy-care
- CDC – HEAR HER Campaign: Urgent Maternal Warning Signs https://www.cdc.gov/hearher/maternal-warning-signs/index.html
- Wellframe – 4 Postpartum Warning Signs Black Women Should Watch For https://www.wellframe.com/member-resource/4-postpartum-warning-signs-black-women-should-watch-for/
