4 A.M. Feeding, Then the 9 A.M. Meeting
Damilola closes her laptop at 11 p.m., finally finishing the report she couldn’t get to do during the day. Two hours later, her newborn wakes for a feeding. By 9 a.m., she’s back on a video call, smiling through exhaustion, hoping no one notices the dark circles under her eyes. She loves her job. She loves her baby. But some nights, she wonders if she’s failing at both.
Damilola’s story is not unusual. It’s the quiet reality for millions of working mothers.
Why “Doing It All” Takes a Toll
Society often celebrates the image of the mother who seamlessly balances a thriving career and a happy home, but this ideal comes at a cost. Studies show that research suggests that many working mothers experience higher levels of stress, guilt, and burnout than fathers, partly because they continue to shoulder a disproportionate share of unpaid caregiving and household responsibilities. [1].
This pressure isn’t just emotional. Chronic stress from role overload is linked to physical health problems, including disrupted sleep, weakened immunity, and increased risk of anxiety and depression [2]. Many mothers also delay seeking help, believing exhaustion is simply “part of the job”.
The Cost of Carrying It Alone
When the pressure to “do it all” goes unaddressed, the effects ripple outward:
- Mental health decline: Increased risk of maternal burnout and postpartum anxiety
- Strained relationships: Less time and energy for partners, children, and self
- Workplace impact: Reduced productivity, career hesitancy, or women leaving the workforce entirely
Research from the American Psychological Association found that mothers experiencing chronic role strain were more likely to report symptoms of clinical burnout compared to non-parents in the workforce [3].
Finding a Sustainable Balance
There is no perfect formula, but there are practical ways to ease the pressure:
Redefine “success”. Balance doesn’t mean doing everything equally well every day it means shifting priorities as needed without guilt.
Share the load intentionally. Open conversations with partners about dividing household and childcare duties can reduce mental load and resentment
Set boundaries at work. Flexible hours, realistic deadlines, and honest conversations with employers can protect both performance and wellbeing.
Build a support system. Whether it’s family, friends, or professional childcare, mothers are not meant to do this alone.
Prioritise self-care as maintenance, not luxury. Rest, nutrition, and moments of stillness are essential, not optional.
Experts recommend that workplaces and families alike normalise conversations about maternal mental health, rather than expecting silent resilience
At MyLurah, we believe every woman deserves to feel informed, supported, and understood throughout every stage of her reproductive journey. From navigating periods and understanding her body to preparing for pregnancy and adjusting to life after birth, we create a safe space for culturally informed education, meaningful conversations, and community support.
You Don’t Have to Carry It All
Motherhood and career are not a competition to win, they are parts of a full, complex life. Asking for help is not weakness; it is wisdom. When mothers are supported instead of silently judged, they don’t just survive, they succeed, and so do their families.
You are allowed to put the laptop down. You are allowed to ask for help. You are already enough.
References
- Pew Research Center. (2023). Parenting in America: Balancing career and family. https://www.pewresearch.org
- American Psychological Association. (2022). Stress in America: The impact of caregiving. https://www.apa.org
- Gallup. (2021). State of the global workplace: Burnout among working mothers. https://www.gallup.com
